Today’s blog post is about one of those times, and spotlights a foster family from our North Texas office who was willing to stand in the gap for both the child in care and his biological parents. Read this story below about Trevor (name changed) and consider what your role might be to serve as a foster parent for children like him.

Trevor was placed with his Buckner foster family, Steve and Laura Hill, as a 4 month old infant weighing eight pounds. He had been removed from his biological mother due to allegations of medical neglect. He was a happy, smiling infant. Unfortunately, he rarely cried – always a developmental concern – and he had received numerous medical diagnoses.

Steve and Laura Hill live near Longview, Texas. They are parents to two biological sons, Ethan, 12, and Isaac, 9, and are dedicated foster parents.

Through several medical appointments, an extended hospital stay, numerous tests and extensive lab work, it was determined that Trevor was a “medical mystery.”

In spite of frequent scheduled feedings, his weight gain was very slow. Laura Hill dedicated many hours to researching Trevor’s condition and documenting daily notes on his progress or regression, depending on the day.

The Hills established a relationship with Trevor’s biological mother and became advocates for her when communicating with DFPS. This family was separated due to the state’s understandable concerns that Trevor had been a victim of medical neglect. However, facts began to show that Trevor’s biological mother had sought medical attention for him, but he failed to improve 

Steve and Laura embraced Trevor’s mom and offered her support. They also made an agreement with DFPS that when Trevor was returned to his biological mother as a “monitored return,” they would be available to Trevor and his mom to help ensure she had the support she needed in caring for Trevor.

Today, the two families are in frequent contact with one another, Trevor’s medical needs are being closely monitored and an enduring friendship has formed through Steve and Laura’s mentorship of Trevor and his family.

What are your thoughts about connecting to biological families?

Debbie Sceroler is the foster care and adoption program director for Buckner Children and Family Services in Longview, Texas.

As foster parents, we hear this statement all too often. What a slap in the face! Are foster parents’ hearts too small to feel the pain that fostering can bring? Not at all! In fact, it is quite the opposite. 

God calls us to take action and love these children. Matthew 25:37 reads, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” We are to love them with our whole hearts, as He loves us.

These children walk into our homes already having experienced the world’s brutality. As we care for them and work on their healing, something even more miraculous happens. We find ourselves seeking God like never before and growing in Him. Foster parents have to be willing to abandon themselves to God and trust in Him to provide all they need and desire. They must be willing to hand their hearts up no matter the outcome.

We have just begun our foster care journey and I’m quickly learning that God is in control and I’m not. I must hand my heart back to Him on a daily basis while fighting the urge to take it back and stow it away in an indestructible box.

I have faith in an extraordinary God. Throughout my life He has shown me that He can bring beauty from ashes. I know that glorious outcomes and growth come through the difficult journeys.

The answer is long and varied, but the important thing to know is that all agencies will walk you through this process, step by step.

It’s important to think about the context of foster parenting first. Put yourself in the shoes of parents who have had their children placed into foster care. Think about what they might be feeling.

• If you were unable to care for your child for a period of time, what would you want an agency like Buckner to know about the potential parents who would substitute for you?
• How would you want Buckner to support and supervise the family caring for your child?
• How could Buckner ensure the best possible care for your child?

When you think about foster care in the context of your biological child, you’ll begin to understand why the process of becoming a foster parent for others’ children is so rigorous!

3 Steps to Becoming a Foster Parent

Step 1: Training and evaluation. Becoming a foster parent is a process. It will take a while, often up to 6 months. 

• Buckner will train you about the process, the children, behaviors and the different style of parenting children in foster care need. This involves several hours of training and is offered to help you make the best decision for your family:  Foster? Adopt? How? What type of child? What are the needs? What support will we need?

•We will go through a mutual evaluation process:  Buckner will determine if you are a good fit for our agency and are able to appropriately care for children in foster care; and you will determine if Buckner is the right agency for you. Believe it or not, most agencies like Buckner emphasize knowing families better and finding ways to say yes. We need families to care for children!  With that said, it’s important for us to ensure that families will be safe and appropriate for children. This involves conducting background checks and a home study process, which allows us to get to know your family and determine what type of child you can best care for.

Step 2: Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork.

• Applications!  Medical paperwork!  Financials!  Fire & Health inspections!  Floor plans!  Consent forms!  FBI fingerprints!  References!

• Once children are placed with you, monthly paperwork is required for every child in your home. This includes, but is not limited to, appointment logs, recreational schedules, calendars and medical appointment forms.

Step 3: Home visits!

• You don’t have to do home visits alone, and you will continue to receive regular visits by Buckner case managers, Child Protective Services (CPS) case workers, and possibly an attorney ad-litem appointed by the court and Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA). When Buckner visits, we are there to support you, answer questions, and encourage you in your role as a member of our team. 

• Texas State licensing conducts random monitoring visits of licensed foster homes. They also are required to investigate any and all allegations regarding abuse/neglect or standard violations that occur in foster homes. Buckner will support families, educating you on the licensing standards you are accountable for as well as educating you about investigation processes.

The process of becoming a foster parent can certainly seem intimidating at times. Our role at Buckner is to be open and supportive through all of the licensure requirements, and we commit to walk you through each step. Your role as a foster parent is profound and transformational for the children in your family.

To learn more about foster care or foster parenting with Buckner, click here. You can also check out our Frequently Asked Questions about foster care.

De’An Davis is the foster care director for Buckner Children and Family Services in Midland, Texas.  She has been with Buckner since 2009, but she has served children since the beginning of her career in 2000.

A few years passed, we tried fertility treatments that did not work, and then we began to see a fertility specialist.

During this time, I know God spoke to me, and I surrendered to His will. I was moved by Proverbs 3:5-6, which says: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

I gave up my desires to have my own biological children, and He gave me a peace that surpasses all understanding.

My husband and I immediately began attending information meetings for foster care and chose Buckner as our agency. Within six months we had completed all our training and requirements. We became a foster-to-adopt family.

Three days after receiving our license, we welcomed two precious angels into our home. They lived with us for almost 15 months. At times, it looked like we were going to be able to adopt them, but God had another plan. We said goodbye to our two angels this past March. It was the hardest thing we have ever done.

We re-opened our home within a few weeks and received our 5-day-old “Li’l Bit” a few days later. I was able to pick him up from the hospital. We do not know how long he will be staying with us, but we just enjoy each day we have with him. God placed him in our home for a reason.

I know without a doubt that my husband and I are doing what we have been called to do. Becoming foster parents has completed my ideal “perfect little family.” I get to share my home with many special little people.

I have only one regret… I wish we had started fostering sooner.

Andrea Chambers and her husband have been a licensed foster family with Buckner since December 2010. They live in Mesquite, Texas, and are currently fostering their third child, a beautiful and sweet newborn baby boy. 

Foster care month brings to light the urgent needs of young people without a voice.  These children need someone to protect them, no matter their age. 

A recent study completed by the Dave Thomas Foundation illustrated misconceptions about foster care:

• “45% of Americans erroneously believe children enter foster care because of juvenile delinquency.”  In reality, “children enter the foster care system through no fault of their own, as victims of neglect, abandonment or abuse.”
• “61% of Americans underestimate how many children are waiting for adoptive families.”  In reality, in 2005, “114,000 children [were] available for adoption in US foster care.”
• “Most Americans correctly believe foster care adoption costs less than other types of adoption, but 46% still incorrectly believe it is expensive.”  In reality, “foster care adoption is affordable with little or no cost to adopt.”

At Buckner, we would like for you to know the following about our work in foster care, and adoption through foster care:

1. Children and adolescents in foster care are like your children and teens.  They want to be loved, they want to feel secure and have a place to belong.  The only difference is that their biological parents, the very ones who should have protected them, were unable to do so, and these children desperately need someone to keep them safe and help them heal.

2. Child abuse knows no race, culture, ethnicity, gender, age group or socioeconomic status. However, minority children, African American children in particular, are entering the foster care system at a disproportionate rate.  We at Buckner are always looking for families who desire to accept placement of children from all ethnic backgrounds.

3. Buckner is a faith-based agency, and our practice is guided by Christ-Centered values.  We emphasize excellent service delivered with respect for each family, client and co-worker.  At Buckner, you’ll find that our work is motivated by our faith.

For more information about National Foster Care Month, see the website HERE. 

Brittany Bonner serves as a case manager in Amarillo for Buckner Foster Care. As a case manager for Buckner Foster Care in Amarillo,  she visits with children placed in foster homes monthly, advocates for children and foster parents. She has been with Buckner since 2010.

Editor’s Note: Many of our readers will recognize Juan Pablo from previous stories in the Buckner Today magazine and on our website. Some may have even met him on a Buckner mission trip to Guatemala!

When Juan Pablo was a young child, he suffered an accident that left him badly burned and scarred. John and Emily Wiggins met Juan Pablo in an orphanage on a Shoes for Orphan Souls mission trip to Guatemala in 2006. Three years later, in December 2009, they finalized Juan Pablo’s adoption and he came home. His father, John Wiggins, wrote this reflection and update on Juan Pablo’s life in the U.S.

By John Wiggins 

A little more than two years ago, Juan Pablo left Guatemala and arrived in Indiana with us, his new family and permanent home. We first met him when he was 3 years old and brought him home at age 7. Now he’s 9. His transition to living in a new place with his new family could not have been smoother. Though our adoption process spanned three years, we reflect on how God had shaped and prepared Juan Pablo’s heart to be able to leave what he knew as home to be joined to a new family and environment.

Big brother
Less than three months after coming home, Juan Pablo – now affectionately known as “JP” – welcomed home someone else – his new baby brother, Samuel. JP was thrilled at the thought of being an older sibling. We weren’t concerned about how JP would bond with his younger brother since he was commonly seen caring for the toddlers at the orphanage in Guatemala.

Sam is almost 2 now and his brother is his best friend. We are so amazed how JP commits time to his brother through playing with trains, reading books or wrestling around with their dog, Mala. We regularly hear them laughing together or at one another. In Sam’s eyes, JP is a hero.

Love of learning
The school day for JP takes place at home. Emily is a stay-at-home mom and a licensed teacher who focuses her gifts, experience and energy to educate her son. Once a week, they attend classes through a local homeschool co-op where JP learns with kids his age. Emily teaches Spanish class as part of that group, while other moms teach subjects such as Bible, public speaking, music, history and science. Science is JP’s favorite because he’s building a rocket.

JP is in second grade and has made great progress with his reading and learning English. He also has been playing piano for more than a year and has more recently been learning guitar with me. He has performed at a couple of small recitals and played a song at a local retirement home.

Play ball
If you have ever met JP, you know that he is kind-hearted, funny, a good dancer and quite energetic. With all his energy, we thought that it would be a good idea to use it constructively by playing sports. He loves any kind of sport but thrives in soccer. He has become a leader on the field and contributes a goal nearly every game.

In the spring of 2011, JP and his team won the season-ending tournament, but one of our proudest moments came during a game when the other team’s coach was yelling at his goalie to pick up the ball. The poor little girl didn’t understand what her coach was saying, so JP picked up the ball and gave it to her. He was penalized for his action in that play, but all the parents commented on his sweet heart. His heart always shines through.

After soccer season, JP plays baseball through the summer and has become a good hitter. During his first season and exposure to baseball, he was positioned in the outfield. Most little leaguers kick dirt around and pick up dandelions, but JP was always entertaining the crowd with his dancing during or after plays. He has matured as a player in the past year, during which he played third base and hit his first home run.

With all the activity we have discovered just how dirty boys can get. After telling JP to take a shower after a baseball game, he commented, “I don’t need a shower because my sweat washed all the dirt away.” He is always making us laugh. During the winter, JP participates in Boy Scouts and swims as part of a swim club.

A new smile
When we first met JP, he stole our hearts with his personality and joy despite carrying scars from an accident earlier in his young life. Our eyes were opened to see him just as Jesus sees him – without blemish and beautiful.

During JP’s first year with us in the United States, we visited a number of physicians at Riley Hospital for Children in Indianapolis, including a plastic surgeon. He recommended tissue expansion surgery to allow his face to grow as he grows.

In December 2010, JP had skin expanders inserted under his jaw line. Every week for a few months, JP returned to a clinic where the surgeon filled the tissue expanders to expand skin that would be moved halfway up on his cheeks and chin. In March 2011, the procedure was completed to remove the burns and attach the new skin.  We are so happy with the results. The new skin allows JP’s skin to stretch into adulthood as well as grow facial hair.

Shortly after the procedure, JP commented how, unlike before, he had so much more feeling in areas on his face where the new skin was placed. A few months after the surgery, Emily caught JP smiling in the mirror and he commented on how he really likes his new smile. ‘Praise God’ is all we can say.

We have now begun a second expansion process that will wrap up with a surgery this spring. We have been teaching our son how God was with him during his accident and has great plans for him. We also stress that though this operation has helped him, he will always have scars and imperfections. 

This has been a struggle for us. My wife, Emily, shared that one morning during school JP asked if he could have his new scars removed—the scars holding the new and old skin together. Our emphasis to him is to remember his significance in the sight of God his creator and his family who see him just as when we first met him. Emily cried out to God for help as to how to teach this complex concept to a 9-year-old.

Later that evening, we tuned in to the season premiere of “Dancing with the Stars.” The first contestant was J.R. Martinez, a military veteran who had been in a roadside explosion while stationed in Iraq. He was burned on his face and he went through numerous procedures similar to JP. He had a great testimony about being content despite what had happened to him. The women went crazy for him; He was an amazing dancer and ended up winning the show. What a great role model for JP and it was exactly the time we needed it.

God is so faithful. We are not parenting alone and when faced with a difficulty, all we need to do is ask and find that He is there to walk with us through any struggle. Like J.R. Martinez, JP has a great opportunity and platform to share his story to a watching world for the glory and sake of Jesus Christ. As parents, we hope to build up JP to maintain his compassionate heart and share God’s love with confidence to those who will hear him.

While the following information contained in this child profile is accurate, names and certain identifying information have been changed in order to protect the child’s privacy.  Children are in care most often for their protection, and it is our responsibility at Buckner to keep them safe, both physically and emotionally.  All of the information below was provided by the child and his or her Buckner caseworker.  It is our hope that profiles like this help our readers have a better understanding of the types of children we care for at Buckner.

We are pleased to introduce Eli, who is 4 years old.  Here are some things Eli wants you to know about himself:

“I’m most proud of my room. I got to go with my foster mom and pick out cool stuff to go in it. It’s only my room, with my own bed and everything! I have lots of clothes and shoes, and I even have different clothes to sleep in at night.”

Like most four year old boys, Eli enjoys playing outside and getting dirty: rain or shine.  He loves cartoons, particularly “Spongebob Squarepants.” There are a few other things he’d like for you to know about life in foster care:

Regarding his experience in foster care, Eli says, “I still love my mommy, and I have a hard time understanding what happened.”

He continues, though, “My foster family is awesome! They read me stories at night and I feel safe with them. I’m not old enough to go to school yet, but I do get to go to Sunday school. I’m learning about Jesus.”

We hope that you’ll pray for Eli, for his birthmom and foster parents. Pray also for the many other 4-year-olds like him who like playing outside and getting dirty, who need help understanding ‘what happened,’ and who need to learn about Jesus.

Wendy McMillan is the Foster and Adoption Supervisor for Buckner Children and Family Services in Lufkin. As Foster Care and Adoption Supervisor, she coordinates the development of foster and adoptive homes and provides training and support to foster and adoptive families .  She has been with Buckner since 2011. 

As a veteran of social services work for the past 18 years, it’s easy to get lost in statistics and theory related to the “orphan experience.” In this book, however, I was reminded of the immediate, personal experience of what it is like to grow up without a family.

Krutov talks about the stigma of being known as an orphan, and the treatment experienced by anyone with this label in Russia is shocking. He writes about a ‘classmate’ of his who didn’t return from a weekend visit with extended family. Her body was found two weeks later, and the church refused to allow a memorial service for her solely because she was “an orphan.” He describes life in the Russian orphanage system, and the long term effects of having any government agency as a parent.

In the midst of such sorrow, however, Davis finds a way to trace the history and evolution of orphan care in Russia through Krutov’s eyes, and through his experience.  What is of particular interest is the role of Americans in his emotional and spiritual development. 

He describes the growth of short term missions in the wake of the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991, and the impact of such trips on his life and the lives of his ‘classmates’ in the orphanage will be an encouragement to anyone who has been on a short term mission trip and wondered if they truly made a difference.

It’s an interesting case made by the authors for those who attempt to bring a faith-based response to ‘the least of these.’ As Krutov tells his American friend as they are contemplating a new ministry to other orphans in Chapter 18, “’Too many missionaries believe you just bring the gospel and lead people to the Lord and then they’ll be fine. Yet, that is just the starting point. You need to deal with the emotional baggage of these orphans, working through attitude and emotional changes, forgiveness, and validating these kids as individuals.’”

For adoptive or foster parents; for mentors of foster care alumni and short term missions participants; for anyone interested in understanding the perspective, struggles and triumphs of a modern-day orphan, please read this book.

Greg Eubanks is the Buckner Area Vice President for National Operations. As an adoptive parent and an adoptive uncle, he is passionate about how Buckner ministries throughout the U.S. help to build strong families, whether through foster care, adoption or a host of other services that prevent families from ever having to separate. He has been with Buckner since 1994.

You may be an adoptive or foster care parent, a recent mission trip participant or a church staff member. But, how do you engage more people to make a difference in this cause?

To help with this challenge, Buckner has created the Abba, Father devotional guide and toolkit. This toolkit can be used to increase awareness of issues impacting orphans and vulnerable children and provide direction on practical ways that your church can become involved. 

New resources included in the kit are:
o Abba Father:  A toolkit for serving the least of these, including
o An extensive bibliography of books, websites, movies and videos on a wide range of issues.
o A map to connect, cooperate, or collaborate with Buckner, depending on where you live
o A volunteer opportunity description to serve as a liaison between your church and Buckner
o Abba Father:  A 30-Day Devotional Guide Celebrating the Hope of Family 

Buckner recruited a broad base of individuals and organizations to contribute their expertise to the kit. Adoptive and foster parents share their journeys in several of the daily devotionals; leaders of organizations such as Embrace Texas, the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute and the Christian Alliance for Orphans also contributed.

The resource is user-friendly, practical and affordable (free!).  Many of the resources are easily accessible as a download from the Pure Action website.

Here are 4 ways the Orphan Care Kit could help your church get more involved in orphan care ministry:
1. Distribute the Abba Father Daily Devotional Guide to your small group and devote one or more discussions to one of the issues addressed in the guide.
2. Refer pastors or other church leaders to the kit.
3. Review the toolkit and organize a discussion around ways that your church may be able to collaborate with Buckner.
4. Review the bibliography and select resources that could be used for a book club discussion or movie night.

Want to learn more about orphan care, help increase awareness for others or learn how to connect with Buckner?  If so, this resource is for you!

• Click here to access the Orphan Care Kit.

Candace Gray currently works with Buckner Children & Family Services in Dallas as the Director of Service Offerings and Performance.  She joined the Buckner staff in 2010.

Physical Abuse is one type of abuse that results in an injury to the child. Physical abuse injuries can range from bruising to fractures. It may even result in a child’s death. Examples of physical abuse are hitting, kicking, beating, punching, burning or choking. Victims of physical abuse may also be stabbed or shaken.   Some of the warning indicators of physical abuse are:

• frequent injuries such as black eyes or bruises ( without explanation)
• a lack of reaction to pain from the child
• a  fear of going home
• unseasonable clothing  (in order to hide injuries)

Emotional Abuse is emotional harm to a child that will result in impairment to a child’s mental well being.  Examples of emotional abuse are restricting a child to a dark or confined space, name calling, and threatening harm to a child.  Some indicators that are seen in children who are emotionally abused include:

• difficulty in peer relationships
• poor self esteem
• over compliance
• lack of attachment to a parent

Sexual Abuse is perhaps the most difficult type of abuse for others to acknowledge and realize that it may actually be occurring.  Sexual abuse can include exposing a child to pornography, touching a child inappropriately or having a child touch someone else inappropriately, sexual penetration or incest.  Children who are victims of sexual abuse may exhibit the following:

• display an advanced knowledge of sexual matters at a young age
• sexualized behaviors during  play
• fearful of being alone with certain adults
• may victimize other children through sexual acts

Child Neglect may not be as easy to identify as some of the other types of abuse.  Neglect does not necessarily include poverty or a parent’s financial inability to provide for the child. However, neglect does occur when a caregiver fails to meet a child’s basic needs for food, clothing, shelter, and safety. It appears that many children who are in foster care for neglect often have  parents involved in substance abuse.  Children who are neglected may be

• malnourished and lack good personal hygiene
• left alone for long  periods of time. 
• steal, beg for, or hoard food
• have multiple absences from school

By expanding our knowledge of the types and indicators of abuse, we as teachers, caregivers, neighbors and friends can help protect children from abusive situations. 

If you ever suspect abuse, call and report your concerns to the Texas Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-252-5400. This can be done anonymously and you could potentially save a child’s life.

Kay Stout is a Foster Care Case Manager for Buckner Children and Family services in Longview. As a case manger she provides advocacy and support for both the foster children and foster families. She works closely with Child Protective Services to ensure the children placed with Buckner are receiving all necessary services to ensure their well being and success.   Kay has been with Buckner since 2001.