Whether they are African-American children in the U.S. foster care system, Chinese children abandoned due to the One-Child-Policy, or orphaned children from Ethiopia or Central America, most of the children in need of forever families are not white.  

This has led to more families considering transracial adoption as a means of beginning or growing their families.  But how do you know if you are up to the challenges of transracial adoption?  Consider these questions:

1. Why do we want to adopt?
It’s hard not to feel a tug at your heartstrings when hearing about the plight of children who have been orphaned, neglected or abused. Yet wanting to help a child alone will be insufficient for success as an adoptive parent. 

It is vital for you to identify a deeply held desire to be a parent and make a lifelong commitment to a child. Children need to know that while you are meeting their need for a family, they are also fulfilling your need to be parents.

2. Does race matter?
Some prospective parents say that they don’t see color and that the race of the child they adopt does not matter. If what these parents mean is that they can love a child of any color, then they are on the path to success.  

But the fact is, race does matter. To help a child begin to take pride in the heritage that God bestowed upon them, we first must see that color and not deny its existence. 

Children of color need to know that their adoption is not “Plan B,” and that their parents were purposeful in adopting them. One day your child will want to hear your reasons for adopting a child of color. 

3. Are we prepared to become and be seen as a multi-racial family?
If you are a Caucasian couple, once you adopt a child of color, you will no longer be a “white” family, but will become a multi-racial family. 

People will notice you.  They may stare, ask harmless questions or make hurtful comments. Can you become an advocate for your child of color without becoming defensive?  You may lose some of the white privilege to which you have become accustomed, without even realizing it existed.   You will need to be able to address racial remarks or bias—wherever they occur, perhaps even in your own extended family.

4. Can we offer children the environment and resources that they will need to embrace their race and deal with the racism that they will face in our society?
Look around you. Will your children see their ethnicity reflected in your world? 

Having friends, neighbors and role models who share their racial background will help children to have a sense of racial pride and belonging in their world. Some families have found a “cultural consultant,” someone who shares their child’s racial background, to be of great help in providing them guidance on everything from hair care to knowing how it feels to be a person of color. Transracial adoptees advise parents to make those racial and cultural connections before your child arrives.

Helpful Resources:
I’m Chocolate, You’re Vanilla, by Marguerite Wright
Dim Sum, Bagels, And Grits:  A Sourcebook for Multicultural Families, by Myra Alberson
Below the Surface, a self-assessment guide for families considering adoption across racial or cultural lines.  It can be ordered from PACT at:  http://www.pactadopt.org/store/Transracial-Adoption-Publications-by-Pact.html

Carol Demuth currently works with Buckner Children & Family Services in Dallas as Foster Care/Adoption Supervisor.  She is a licensed clinical social worker, a certified mediator and a licensed child placing administrator with the State of Texas.  She joined the Buckner staff in 1998.

1. Domestic infant adoption – adopting a newborn from a birth mom facing a crisis pregnancy.

2. Foster to Adopt – accepting placement of a child from the foster care system with hopes to adopt that child when and if he or she becomes available for adoption.  Typically for younger ages, but can be for children of all ages.

3. Waiting Child Adoption – adopting a child from the foster care system who is already legally available for adoption.  Typically for older children, sibling groups and those with special needs.

4. International Adoption – adopting a child from another country.  For children of all ages, including sibling groups and special needs.

So, how do you know which path to take?  It’s a personal decision, but here are some questions to ask yourself while you pray, educate yourself and prepare to decide:

1. How much risk can I tolerate? Though all adoption involves risk, each type involves different types of risk. Can I risk a birth mom choosing to parent? Can I risk an international government changing their laws? Can I risk parenting a child with challenging behaviors and a history of trauma?

2. How much can I afford? Some adoptions cost in the thousands of dollars while others cost very little. Certainly, financial aid is frequently available as well as tax credits for adoption costs.

3. What type of child can I best parent? Older or younger? Sibling group or single? Am I
open to a child of a different ethnicity than my own? What level of special needs can I meet?

4. What is my motivation? Why am I pursuing adoption, and what impact does that have on the specific avenue I choose for my adoption journey?

5. To what extent does my faith play a part in my decision? Do I feel compelled towards one type of adoption over another because of my spiritual beliefs? Has God called me to a particular choice for adoption?

Ask yourself these questions, and if you’re ready to learn more, attend a “Be a Family” meeting in your area. At these meetings, you’ll meet other interested families and will connect with professional Buckner staff who can talk you through the different options.

And after all of that, be flexible. At Buckner, we believe that if you’re interested in adoption, then God will lead you through to the best option for your family. He will provide throughout the journey, with all of its stops and starts, lows and highs. Are you ready?

Greg Eubanks is the Buckner Area Vice President for National Operations. As an adoptive parent and an adoptive uncle, he is passionate about how Buckner ministries throughout the U.S. help to build strong families, whether through foster care, adoption or a host of other services that prevent families from ever having to separate. He has been with Buckner since 1994.

By Chelsea Quackenbush
Photos by Lauren Hollon Sturdy
Buckner International

BEAUMONT – Dave “Daddy Dave” Bleakley first met Amelia by chance at a Buckner Children’s Village reunion in Beaumont. Two-week-old Amelia was the youngest alumna and Daddy Dave was the oldest. Buckner staff thought it would make a cool photo, so they placed the tiny girl in his arms.

“What’s her name?” he asked.

“Amelia.”

His eyes welled with tears. His late wife, known fondly as “Mama Anne,” never let anyone call her by her real name – Amelia Anne Bleakley. At the time, no one knew that circumstances over the next few months would bring them back together.

Daddy Dave’s story

Daddy Dave is a Buckner alumnus and one of its greatest advocates. He lived at the Buckner Orphans Home in Dallas with his older brother and sister in the 1940s when he was just 4 years old.

Raised in a broken home in southeast Arkansas, and then shuffled between family members all over Texas, a pastor in Port Arthur found them a place at Buckner.

He vividly recalls wanting to break out of the fence that surrounded the campus. He knew it was the only thing separating him from happiness. So when Buckner staff asked him what they could do to get him to stop crying, he said he wanted to play outside. His plan was to escape when no one was looking.

Little did Daddy Dave know, the staff knew what he was up to. So they held him close the whole time until he calmed down.

“Nothing can fill the void like love, and that’s what they did,” Daddy Dave said. “We believed it was important to teach Jenn [his daughter] that message because that’s what Buckner taught us.”

According to Buckner staff, Daddy Dave puts a smile on everyone’s face when he walks through the door. He encourages Buckner children by sharing his story.

Parenting with grace

Daddy Dave’s daughter, Jennifer Guerra, and her husband Ricky, decided to become foster parents after their birth daughter, Avery Anne, passed away in 2008 at the age of 4 due to complications with complex congenital heart disease.

“We knew she was just the girl God decided her to be,” Jennifer said. “But we knew we couldn’t have more kids, so Buckner was our only option.”

The day they received their foster parent certification, the Guerras got the call about taking Amelia in for a 14-day respite period when she was 4 months old. Her previous foster mother was sick and couldn’t care for her. The emergency placement turned long-term, and soon after, Amelia became available for adoption. Everything else fell into place.

Jenn and Ricky had two other foster daughters, Elizabeth, who was 5 at the time, and Zoey, who was 2. They said Amelia was stiff and reserved at first. She startled at loud noises. But it didn’t take long to become part of the family, and soon she warmed up to the other girls.

“You just had this certainty in your heart that God is moving, which is unusual in this field because everything is so uncertain,” Beaumont director of foster care and adoption Samela Macon said. “Daddy Dave taught Jenn how to serve. He has a servant’s heart. The Guerras have made a tremendous difference in the lives of the children they fostered.”

Daddy’s girl

Now Amelia is a “daddy’s girl.” Her face lights up when Ricky gets home from work in the evening. Her first word was “Dada.” Everyone says they look alike.

“That’s the sweetest thing, seeing the Lord fill that void they had,” Daddy Dave said. “It was affirmation that it was the Lord, his hand in the beautiful tapestry he’s woven.

“The wonder of all wonder is that God would choose to bless our family through the life of another little girl with my late wife as her namesake. She favors little Avery Anne and acts like Mama Anne. And to think that our Lord would choose to perform such an act of mercy through the same Buckner ministry he used 67 years ago to rescue my life as a 4-year-old child. Only he can perform such miracles.”

The Guerras have postponed their position as foster parents because in December, they will have another unexpected addition to their family – Jennifer is pregnant with a little boy, Noah Blake.

Amelia bounces around the room, between her parents and Daddy Dave, smiling and showing them her baby dolls.

“She’s theirs now,” Daddy Dave said. “But I always tell them ‘I held her first.’”

This story originally appeared in the Fall 2011 Edition of Buckner Today.

I recently visited with some alumni of the foster care system in our Buckner office in Lubbock.  We had lunch together and talked about their experiences over pizza.  Here’s the advice they wanted me to share with you:

1.  Acknowledge that my history has forever changed who I am. “The day I was removed [from my family’s care] made me a completely different person,” said one alumnus. Become experts on helping kids and youth through trauma, loss, fear and loneliness. Expect that we’re not like ‘normal’ kids. We have messed up backgrounds. When you sign up to be a foster parent, understand that you’ve signed up to help us work it out.

2. Be ready to commit! Understand the type of child you can best parent. How much attention and supervision are you willing and able to give? Once you accept me into your home, be ready to stick with me, no matter what comes. [Buckner staff can be a great support here!]

3. Think about older kids!  People often think about younger kids when they talk about foster care. “We need families who can parent us older kids, too, even though we may not always say it,” said another alumna. You don’t have to have all the answers. Even young foster parents should think about us, because they can relate more, are more active, and have more energy.

4. Have a good marriage. We need you strong to help us manage the challenges we face. Also, we learn from what we see.

5. Let us make some of our own choices. “It lets us practice making decisions, and we can learn from both good and bad ones while we have you there to keep us safe, comfort us when we are hurting, and help us get back on track.”

Greg Eubanks is the Buckner Area Vice President for National Operations, and lives in  Dallas. As an adoptive parent and an adoptive uncle, he is passionate about how Buckner ministries throughout the U.S. help to build strong families, whether through foster care, adoption or a host of other services that prevent families from ever having to separate. He has been with Buckner since 1994.

“Bringing a child home through adoption is as joyful, if not more so, for the family as having biological children, and we want our friends and family to prepare with us and celebrate with us as they would for a biological child (shower, a card, etc.). My biological children have baby books full of cards that came when they arrived, along with many photos. My adopted child has two cards in his album. I worry that someday he will notice the difference and wonder why.”
- Lori Risinger Heinrich

“Be sensitive—if that family has had the child two years or two months or two days, the adoption day is still just as special.”
- Veronica Adkison Rountree

What you can do: Send a card, give a shower or hold a reception or small party. If you have a gift for photography, offer to take some family portraits.

2. Help around the house
When parents bring home a newborn from the hospital, they’re often met with lots of helping hands. Adoptive families need just as much help as parents of newborns! You can bless them by sharing some of your extra time and energy.

“We have friends that bring meals when we least expect it! They help so much when we are just trying to adjust with a new one!”
- Kara Guinn Curfman

What you can do: Bring over a home cooked meal, clean their bathrooms, do a load of laundry, mow their yard – anything that will give the family some relief from the pressures of daily life and more time to focus on bonding and adjusting.

3. Cut them some slack
Don’t expect a new adoptive family to be able to keep all the commitments they used to, no matter what age their new child is.

Mom and Dad are exhausted, and their child is learning how to live in a family, and even a new culture. Social situations can be overwhelming for everyone involved, and those obligations usually have to be put on hold until life at home settles down.

What you can do: Don’t be upset or hurt if calls or e-mails aren’t returned. Let it slide and know that life will return to normal eventually.

4. Listen, listen, listen
Adoptive families have unique challenges and struggles. Give them space to share frustrations and vent without feeling judged.

“I was thankful to have people who allowed me to pour out my heart without making me feel as if I had betrayed my child or didn’t appreciate the incredible gift and blessing I’d been given. They gave me an outlet, which gave me the strength to be what my child needed as he learned to trust me.”
- Lori Risinger Heinrich

What you can do: Cry with the new family in the heartaches and celebrate with them in the triumphs. You may get tired of hearing the same problems over and over again, but the family needs your support and love.

5. Give Mom and Dad a breather
Many adoptive parents will hardly have time to think straight or sometimes even take a shower, much less any quality alone time to enjoy each other’s company.

“[What blessed me was] giving me a break and taking him to park as I was adjusting to parenthood. Just being there and loving our family as our lives changed.”
- Kari Forrest Hunt

What you can do: Come over and babysit for the new parents. If it’s too soon for the kids to be alone with a sitter, offer to come over after the children are asleep so that parents can take a short walk or have a coffee date.

Four Things That Should Be Left Unsaid:

1. Don’t give unsolicited parenting advice.
This is particularly true for parents who have adopted older children or foster children. If you haven’t parented a child who has lived through trauma, you can’t know what’s best for that child. Don’t offer suggestions or advice unless they ask you for it.

2. Don’t ask about the child’s past.
“We are proud of [our son] and all he’s overcome. We long to tell you EVERYTHING about what a miracle he is, but the story is our child’s to tell, not ours. When the questions become prying and personal, it is very uncomfortable for us. We don’t want to hurt your feelings, but for our child, we have to find a nice way to tell you it’s none of your business.”
- Lori Risinger Heinrich

3. Don’t ask, “Which children are yours?”
Biological or adopted, it makes no difference. All of the children are theirs.

4. Don’t comment on a child’s appearance or ethnicity in front of him or her.
“If my child looks different than the rest of the family, chances are we’ve already noticed, and chances are he has too. Hearing constant comments about it does not help him to feel like he belongs.”
- Lori Risinger Heinrich

Do you have other suggestions for ways to bless new adoptive families? Leave them in the comments below!

Reprinted from the Amarillo Globe-News, Oct. 4, 2011

It’s not that Tim and December Barcroft wouldn’t love to be in Washington, D.C., Wednesday. They would be among 150 others nationally to be honored at a gala as part of the Angels in Adoption awards through the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.

It’s just they can’t.

Tim has a route to run delivering tortillas around the area for J&T Distributing. December, who not surprisingly, was born in December, can’t afford to miss class at West Texas A&M University, where she’s studying to be a teacher. Then there are the girls — Genie, Heavenly and Kelsey — what to do about them?

“It’s probably best we not go,” Tim said. “We’d like to, but just can’t. It’s disappointing, but money was also an issue as well.”

The Barcrofts are a common couple doing an extraordinarily uncommon thing. That’s what foster parents are. They’re like so many on the outside, but inside have an extra dose of love, unselfishness and sacrifice.

Life was peaceful and routine the first five years of their marriage. Maybe too peaceful.

“We were tired of our quiet house,” December said.

They talked of being foster parents for three years. Finally, they enrolled in the foster parents program through Buckner International, training that is intense and rigorous. They had a heart for children, had none of their own, and were eager to have some extra noise in their home.

“Foster parents have to be patient, flexible, giving, and obviously loving,” said Scott Collins, vice president of communications for Buckner. “I think for Tim and December, it was also part of a spiritual calling.”

In March 2009, they became foster parents of two boys, Aaron, 6, and Jason, 9. They were in their home until they returned to their mother the day after Christmas 2009.

“We still pick them up and take them to church every Sunday,” Tim said. “They may not live with us, but they’re still part of our family.”

It’s now a crowded drive to New Life FourSquare Church. A little more than a month after the two brothers left, the Barcrofts received two sisters, Genie, 14, and Heavenly, 6, in January 2010 from the Panhandle Assessment Center. In March of that year, their infant sister, Kelsey, 1, was taken from another foster home to join her sisters.

“It’s been mind-altering, a house full of girls,” said Tim. “I mean, sharing one bathroom, come on. There’s not a moment’s peace with that. It’s been rough, but we love them to death, absolutely love them to death.”

Imagine this challenge: A teenager, one in kindergarten, and one who is now 2 years old. Those are some different needs and priorities with no time for parents to grow into the challenge.

“Kelsey can entertain herself. She’s independent, but very loving,” Tim said. “Heavenly had some severe behavioral issues in the beginning, but she’s come a long way. Genie is Genie. She’s attached and then detached. She has her moments as I’m sure all 14-year-olds do.”

But few have had the baggage the two oldest had been saddled with. What was missing in their lives, as it is with virtually all foster children, is stability, a parental role model who will be there for them.

“We’ve provided them and showed them there are people out there who do love them for who they are,” December said.

The Barcrofts didn’t get to go to the nation’s capital Wednesday, but they did get to go to 108th District Court in Potter County last Thursday. There, before Judge Doug Woodburn, the Barcrofts legally adopted the three girls. No doubt which one meant more.

“Going to Washington would have been pretty cool,” said Tim, “but the real honor is the having these kids for a lifetime.”

But the Barcrofts hope this isn’t the final chapter. They would like to add more foster children and their own biological children one day.

“God’s not done with us yet,” Tim said, “but we’re going to need a bigger home.”

Jon Mark Beilue is a columnist for the Globe-News. He can be reached at jon.beilue@amarillo.com or 806-345-3318. His blog appears on amarillo.com.

Jacquie Craggett
Rowlett, Texas

 “Why should we adopt these two little girls?”  We wrestled with this question.  We already have four biological daughters and two adopted sons and are supposed to be “empty nesters.”  

Is it because: We love children so much? We want to rescue kids that are at risk? God loves orphans and we should too? Other people are adopting? We want to stretch ourselves so we will be more like Christ?  We want to stay busy and active? Is it about us? Is it about the children? 

All of these questions crossed our mind, but in the end we realized it’s about one thing and one thing only – it’s about God.

Ten years ago, when our daughters were ages 8 through 14, we began caring for children in our home through foster care ministry.  God confirmed his desire for us to adopt one boy, and then less than a year later, we adopted his brother.  At that time, we were at an age where many of our peers were becoming empty nesters.  We did not take the decision to adopt lightly. God clearly confirmed his desire and our life became a new adventure as we added these two rough and tumble boys. 

We continued to foster, assuming that our call to adoption was complete.  In December 2009, God placed in our minds the peculiar thought that He might ask us to adopt two little girls.  Would we be available if he asked us?  We wrestled with God for eight months.  There were so many reasons this did not make sense.  Slowly He unfolded His plan and confirmed His desire, making it ours, and now we are in the process of adopting two more girls, sisters, through foster care.

After almost 25 years of parenting, we are faced with challenges far beyond any we have faced before.  There are days when we think, “This is too hard!” But then we see our two little girls, who have been tossed and tumbled from home to home, who are trying to control their little worlds to gain stability, and we realize we can do this. We have to do this. Sure, we have trials and conflicts, but our home is filled with love, laughter and life. There are spontaneous gestures of selflessness and encouraging times of growth. We have great hope as we see God’s redemptive love lived out through us under our own roof. 

After we become Christians, we are no longer to live our lives the way we used to live.  Our responses, choices, attitudes are now to conform to Christ’s character and His Word.  There comes a point in our lives, where following God will be completely unique.  God is creating a masterpiece through each of our lives that is one of a kind. This masterpiece will put Him on display.  We have to step out of what is safe, what is comfortable, what is understood and approved of by others and do what He asks us to do. We have to remember this is our temporary home.  We have such a brief time to be His hands, to love and serve Him. 

This is our story.

Rep. Mac Thornberry selected Amarillo residents Tim and December Barcroft; Rep. Pete Sessions selected Dallas residents Karen and Bryan Perry; Rep. Louie Gohmert selected Longview residents Kara and Locke Curfman; and Rep. Mike Conaway selected Midland resident Robert Ewing for the award.

Each family was nominated by Buckner Children and Family Services and was honored alongside 150 Angels at the national event. The Angels in Adoption program is CCAI’s signature public awareness campaign and provides an opportunity for all members of the U.S. Congress to honor the good work of their constituents who have enriched the lives of foster children and orphans in the United States and abroad. 

For the past two years, Tim and December Barcroft of Amarillo, Texas, have selflessly fostered three sisters and will soon adopt the girls as part of their forever family.

“Tim and December have so much patience with these children and take such good care of them,” said Brittany Porter, Buckner foster care case manager. “They have not once, despite all of the obstacles they have faced, faltered in their love. They put the children first always.” 

Karen and Bryan Perry of Dallas were nominated because of their devotion to the orphans of Guatemala. In the past seven years, Karen has made more than 30 trips to visit the children who call her ‘Mamita Karen,’ and the Perrys support has fueled Buckner’s growth to serve almost 14,000 children each year in that country.

“Orphans and vulnerable children have no greater advocate than the Perry family,” said Albert Reyes, president of Buckner International. “The number of children Karen and Bryan have served cannot be counted. They not only impacted the lives of the many children they have served through their time and resources, but they have also uplifted countless families through their support of the adoption process.”

Kara and Locke Curfman of Longview, Texas, have selflessly fostered children of all ages for more than two years, many with significant special needs, and they have even adopted two children.

“The Curfmans are a strong voice and dedicated advocates for children who have been victimized by abuse and neglect,” said Debbie Sceroler, foster care director for Buckner Children and Family Services in Longview. “They take every opportunity to encourage and educate the community about the critical need for children to have safe, nurturing foster families and forever families through adoption.”

Midland resident Robert Ewing, a single father to six adopted children and foster parent to one, has not allowed any obstacles to come between him and his love for his children.

“Robert is an advocate by example,” said De’An Davis, foster care supervisor for Buckner Children and Family Services in Midland. “His love of children and desire to provide this ministry for children is evident every day. We were honored to nominate Robert for his humility, sacrifice and unconditional love.”

In addition to the more than 150 local Angels from around the country, several “National Angels” also will be recognized at the ceremony and gala for their dedication and commitment nationally and internationally to child welfare on a grand scale.  This year’s National Angels are Academy Award nominated actor and screenwriter Nia Vardalos, NFL Linebacker Scott Fujita, and the Emmy-nominated television program Freddie Mac’s Wednesday’s Child. Former National Angels include First Lady Laura Bush, Patti LaBelle, Jane Seymour, Muhammad Ali, the late Dave Thomas, Steven Curtis Chapman, Bruce Willis, Alonzo Mourning, Rhea Perlman and Kristin Chenoweth.

The Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI) is a 501(c)3 nonpartisan organization dedicated to raising awareness about the tens of thousands of orphans and foster children in the United States and the millions of orphans around the world in need of permanent, safe and loving homes through adoption.  CCAI’s goal is the elimination of the barriers that hinder these children from realizing their basic right of a family. 

The Angels in Adoption™ program was established in 1999 as a Congressional press conference to honor outstanding individuals. Since then, the program has developed into a yearlong public awareness campaign culminating in an extraordinary awards Gala and celebration in Washington, D.C. For more information visit www.angelsinadoption.org.

“Jim said, ‘You know, I’d like to take up the idea of fostering,’” Linda recalled. “So we did it. We just really felt called to it.”

The couple’s three oldest children had already moved out, Jim said. “We’ve been very blessed with a nice, large house. We have everything we’ve ever wanted or needed. And it was just time to give back.”

The Kimberlys have fostered many children in their home, and each time the children were eventually reunited with their family.

“The hardest part of fostering is letting them go,” Linda said. “Because you fall in love with every single child to some extent. And some touch you so deeply that you feel like there’s been a death in the family. But you have to let them go; that’s just what you do.”

One time, after four of her foster children went back to live with their birth family, Linda said she stood in her closet and cried.

“I was heartbroken,” she said. “I prayed to God, saying, ‘Please send me some that I can keep.’ And two weeks later Ethan and Alisa showed up. And when God answers you that clearly, you better not say no!”

The Kimberlys fostered siblings Ethan, 6, and Alisa, 4, and are now in the process to adopt them through Buckner foster-to-adopt services. Both children come from families where alcohol, drugs and violence were prevalent.

“Ethan is challenged by his past,” Linda said. “When he came to live with us, he just had no sense of being a little boy – letting his guard down. After he had been with us for about six months, I started to see little bits and pieces of the child he was intended to be. It was absolutely the biggest blessing to be able to be there and see that.”

Alisa, too, was very detached when she arrived. “Now she would probably superglue herself to my hip,” Linda laughed. “I am her mommy. She knows this, and I like it too. They’re both such great kids.”

Their future is much brighter now that they are safe and secure in a family, Jim said.

To learn more about the ways you can be a family through Buckner foster care and adoption, visit www.beafamily.org or call Mark Hayes at 903-757-9383.

LUBBOCK, Texas — Barbara and Sean Smith have fostered more than 50 children, so people assume it’s because they can’t say no.

“Oh, we can say no,” Barbara clarified. “We just don’t want to miss out on the blessing.”

The Smiths said they like knowing that they’ve helped a child, seeing a child learn something new or grow closer to God. Helping children is their ministry; but it doesn’t come without sacrifices.

Sean talked about a girl whom they kept until she was almost 5. “She was adopted by another family. We have set up Skype to talk to her. Grieving is a real thing and everyone in the family goes through grieving. It isn’t just the parents. It’s also the children.”

The Smiths have adopted three of their foster children: Nancy, 13; Andrea, 11; and Chelsey, 9 and they have five adult children of their own.

“The girls love helping us care for the babies and they also have a hard time letting go,” Barbara said.

One of the hardest to let go was a boy who was with the Smiths from birth to age 9.

“He grew up with our children and he is their brother. We were set to adopt him when it was decided that he could go back to his birth mom. So it doesn’t always turn out picture perfect in the way you might want it.”

The Smiths have cared for many medically fragile children because Barbara, who used to work as an emergency medical technician, is equipped to care for them.

Two of these babies are in their home now: one with hydrocephalus, a condition caused by water buildup in the brain, and the other with liver and blood pressure complications.

For a while, Barbara was taking a weekly six-hour car drive to Dallas to take one of the babies for treatment. Now it’s only every two or three weeks. But Barbara said she’s never minded.

“It is a way of life for us,” she said. “One time, my husband was at work and I called him, because I didn’t want to make a decision without him. I said, there is this little girl with some medical issues and I was wondering how you’d feel about taking her in. And he said, ‘Of course. That’s what we do.’ And it is what we do.”

Sean said that he wants to be committed to touching the children’s lives.

“We make it our mission to be there for these kids, to teach them about God and take them to church. I want to believe that somehow they can take this with them.”

To learn more about becoming a foster parent in Lubbock, call 806-795-7151 or visit www.beafamily.org today.