Stan’s Story

Stan* is a 10-year-old boy who entered our foster care program three years ago. When he was first placed with his foster parents, he struggled with multiple behavioral problems based on his trauma history. Stan was often aggressive, he struggled with poor attention and low self-esteem, and he faced multiple challenges, socially. 

Stan was at risk. He was hurting. Buckner staff and his foster family dedicated themselves to helping him manage his emotions and improve his behaviors. Over time, with great love and commitment, his foster parents encouraged him and helped him identify ways to help him find his strengths and talents. They eventually provided him the opportunity to take piano lessons, and Stan realized that he loved the piano. 

At a recent recital, Stan took great pride as he expressed his God-given talent to play. Stan has become a different child over the last few years. He is much happier and is getting along well with friends.  He has decreased his aggression to the point that it is rarely an issue for him. His self esteem is improving every day, and he is learning more about himself and the person God intended him to be.

This is our dream at Buckner.Our vision for each child is for them to find God’s redemptive plan for them. A plan no longer marked by harm, but by hope.

As a 10-year-old, Stan is not the typical child families think about when they consider foster care.  However, there are children of all ages in the child protective system, and all of these children are in care because they need safety and protection.

• Approximately 60 percent of the children in care, according to the TDFPS 2010 data book, were 6 years old and older.
• Twenty-eight percent of children in care are teenagers.

At Buckner, we stand ready to help any families that come to us considering foster care and adoption. However, if you are a family considering this ministry, challenge yourself to consider children like Stan who are in desperate need of a family to support and love them.

*Name has been changed

Samela Macon is the foster care program director for Buckner Children and Family Services in Beaumont, Texas.

By Chelsea Quackenbush
Photos by Lauren Hollon Sturdy
Buckner International

BEAUMONT – Dave “Daddy Dave” Bleakley first met Amelia by chance at a Buckner Children’s Village reunion in Beaumont. Two-week-old Amelia was the youngest alumna and Daddy Dave was the oldest. Buckner staff thought it would make a cool photo, so they placed the tiny girl in his arms.

“What’s her name?” he asked.

“Amelia.”

His eyes welled with tears. His late wife, known fondly as “Mama Anne,” never let anyone call her by her real name – Amelia Anne Bleakley. At the time, no one knew that circumstances over the next few months would bring them back together.

Daddy Dave’s story

Daddy Dave is a Buckner alumnus and one of its greatest advocates. He lived at the Buckner Orphans Home in Dallas with his older brother and sister in the 1940s when he was just 4 years old.

Raised in a broken home in southeast Arkansas, and then shuffled between family members all over Texas, a pastor in Port Arthur found them a place at Buckner.

He vividly recalls wanting to break out of the fence that surrounded the campus. He knew it was the only thing separating him from happiness. So when Buckner staff asked him what they could do to get him to stop crying, he said he wanted to play outside. His plan was to escape when no one was looking.

Little did Daddy Dave know, the staff knew what he was up to. So they held him close the whole time until he calmed down.

“Nothing can fill the void like love, and that’s what they did,” Daddy Dave said. “We believed it was important to teach Jenn [his daughter] that message because that’s what Buckner taught us.”

According to Buckner staff, Daddy Dave puts a smile on everyone’s face when he walks through the door. He encourages Buckner children by sharing his story.

Parenting with grace

Daddy Dave’s daughter, Jennifer Guerra, and her husband Ricky, decided to become foster parents after their birth daughter, Avery Anne, passed away in 2008 at the age of 4 due to complications with complex congenital heart disease.

“We knew she was just the girl God decided her to be,” Jennifer said. “But we knew we couldn’t have more kids, so Buckner was our only option.”

The day they received their foster parent certification, the Guerras got the call about taking Amelia in for a 14-day respite period when she was 4 months old. Her previous foster mother was sick and couldn’t care for her. The emergency placement turned long-term, and soon after, Amelia became available for adoption. Everything else fell into place.

Jenn and Ricky had two other foster daughters, Elizabeth, who was 5 at the time, and Zoey, who was 2. They said Amelia was stiff and reserved at first. She startled at loud noises. But it didn’t take long to become part of the family, and soon she warmed up to the other girls.

“You just had this certainty in your heart that God is moving, which is unusual in this field because everything is so uncertain,” Beaumont director of foster care and adoption Samela Macon said. “Daddy Dave taught Jenn how to serve. He has a servant’s heart. The Guerras have made a tremendous difference in the lives of the children they fostered.”

Daddy’s girl

Now Amelia is a “daddy’s girl.” Her face lights up when Ricky gets home from work in the evening. Her first word was “Dada.” Everyone says they look alike.

“That’s the sweetest thing, seeing the Lord fill that void they had,” Daddy Dave said. “It was affirmation that it was the Lord, his hand in the beautiful tapestry he’s woven.

“The wonder of all wonder is that God would choose to bless our family through the life of another little girl with my late wife as her namesake. She favors little Avery Anne and acts like Mama Anne. And to think that our Lord would choose to perform such an act of mercy through the same Buckner ministry he used 67 years ago to rescue my life as a 4-year-old child. Only he can perform such miracles.”

The Guerras have postponed their position as foster parents because in December, they will have another unexpected addition to their family – Jennifer is pregnant with a little boy, Noah Blake.

Amelia bounces around the room, between her parents and Daddy Dave, smiling and showing them her baby dolls.

“She’s theirs now,” Daddy Dave said. “But I always tell them ‘I held her first.’”

This story originally appeared in the Fall 2011 Edition of Buckner Today.

I recently visited with some alumni of the foster care system in our Buckner office in Lubbock.  We had lunch together and talked about their experiences over pizza.  Here’s the advice they wanted me to share with you:

1.  Acknowledge that my history has forever changed who I am. “The day I was removed [from my family’s care] made me a completely different person,” said one alumnus. Become experts on helping kids and youth through trauma, loss, fear and loneliness. Expect that we’re not like ‘normal’ kids. We have messed up backgrounds. When you sign up to be a foster parent, understand that you’ve signed up to help us work it out.

2. Be ready to commit! Understand the type of child you can best parent. How much attention and supervision are you willing and able to give? Once you accept me into your home, be ready to stick with me, no matter what comes. [Buckner staff can be a great support here!]

3. Think about older kids!  People often think about younger kids when they talk about foster care. “We need families who can parent us older kids, too, even though we may not always say it,” said another alumna. You don’t have to have all the answers. Even young foster parents should think about us, because they can relate more, are more active, and have more energy.

4. Have a good marriage. We need you strong to help us manage the challenges we face. Also, we learn from what we see.

5. Let us make some of our own choices. “It lets us practice making decisions, and we can learn from both good and bad ones while we have you there to keep us safe, comfort us when we are hurting, and help us get back on track.”

Greg Eubanks is the Buckner Area Vice President for National Operations, and lives in  Dallas. As an adoptive parent and an adoptive uncle, he is passionate about how Buckner ministries throughout the U.S. help to build strong families, whether through foster care, adoption or a host of other services that prevent families from ever having to separate. He has been with Buckner since 1994.

By Jenny Pope
Buckner International

Hishia and Rickey Conner have parented more than 70 children in the past five years at Buckner Children’s Home in Lubbock, Texas.

“Some reunite with their families, some age out. But most of them keep in touch and let us know how they are doing. We try to provide for them when we can,” Hishia said.

The Conners fell into foster parenting after a family friend told them about the opening at Buckner Children’s Home in 2005. Since both Hishia and Rickey grew up in a big family, they knew they could handle a large group of kids.

But caring for 10-12 children at one time isn’t without its challenges. One teenage girl used the window as often as the door at one point, running away to meet her boyfriend.  The Conners would call the police and spend long nights searching for her time and again.

“It was one of the biggest challenges we’ve had,” Rickey said. “But we have a lot of love for these kids. Our hearts are open to them.”

Hishia said finding the strength to care for so many children takes having a big heart and a lot of patience.  “You have to remember the kids are the ones suffering, and the kids don’t deserve it. Some parents take a long time to get back on track and kids just have to wait on them while they are doing that.”

One thing Rickey and Hishia promise all their children is a listening ear, treating each child as their own and assuring them they will always be there no matter what happens in the future.

“Faith has brought us here and kept us here,” Hishia said. “We’re doing God’s work. We’re a family.”

Reprinted from the Amarillo Globe-News, Oct. 4, 2011

It’s not that Tim and December Barcroft wouldn’t love to be in Washington, D.C., Wednesday. They would be among 150 others nationally to be honored at a gala as part of the Angels in Adoption awards through the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.

It’s just they can’t.

Tim has a route to run delivering tortillas around the area for J&T Distributing. December, who not surprisingly, was born in December, can’t afford to miss class at West Texas A&M University, where she’s studying to be a teacher. Then there are the girls — Genie, Heavenly and Kelsey — what to do about them?

“It’s probably best we not go,” Tim said. “We’d like to, but just can’t. It’s disappointing, but money was also an issue as well.”

The Barcrofts are a common couple doing an extraordinarily uncommon thing. That’s what foster parents are. They’re like so many on the outside, but inside have an extra dose of love, unselfishness and sacrifice.

Life was peaceful and routine the first five years of their marriage. Maybe too peaceful.

“We were tired of our quiet house,” December said.

They talked of being foster parents for three years. Finally, they enrolled in the foster parents program through Buckner International, training that is intense and rigorous. They had a heart for children, had none of their own, and were eager to have some extra noise in their home.

“Foster parents have to be patient, flexible, giving, and obviously loving,” said Scott Collins, vice president of communications for Buckner. “I think for Tim and December, it was also part of a spiritual calling.”

In March 2009, they became foster parents of two boys, Aaron, 6, and Jason, 9. They were in their home until they returned to their mother the day after Christmas 2009.

“We still pick them up and take them to church every Sunday,” Tim said. “They may not live with us, but they’re still part of our family.”

It’s now a crowded drive to New Life FourSquare Church. A little more than a month after the two brothers left, the Barcrofts received two sisters, Genie, 14, and Heavenly, 6, in January 2010 from the Panhandle Assessment Center. In March of that year, their infant sister, Kelsey, 1, was taken from another foster home to join her sisters.

“It’s been mind-altering, a house full of girls,” said Tim. “I mean, sharing one bathroom, come on. There’s not a moment’s peace with that. It’s been rough, but we love them to death, absolutely love them to death.”

Imagine this challenge: A teenager, one in kindergarten, and one who is now 2 years old. Those are some different needs and priorities with no time for parents to grow into the challenge.

“Kelsey can entertain herself. She’s independent, but very loving,” Tim said. “Heavenly had some severe behavioral issues in the beginning, but she’s come a long way. Genie is Genie. She’s attached and then detached. She has her moments as I’m sure all 14-year-olds do.”

But few have had the baggage the two oldest had been saddled with. What was missing in their lives, as it is with virtually all foster children, is stability, a parental role model who will be there for them.

“We’ve provided them and showed them there are people out there who do love them for who they are,” December said.

The Barcrofts didn’t get to go to the nation’s capital Wednesday, but they did get to go to 108th District Court in Potter County last Thursday. There, before Judge Doug Woodburn, the Barcrofts legally adopted the three girls. No doubt which one meant more.

“Going to Washington would have been pretty cool,” said Tim, “but the real honor is the having these kids for a lifetime.”

But the Barcrofts hope this isn’t the final chapter. They would like to add more foster children and their own biological children one day.

“God’s not done with us yet,” Tim said, “but we’re going to need a bigger home.”

Jon Mark Beilue is a columnist for the Globe-News. He can be reached at jon.beilue@amarillo.com or 806-345-3318. His blog appears on amarillo.com.

Rep. Mac Thornberry selected Amarillo residents Tim and December Barcroft; Rep. Pete Sessions selected Dallas residents Karen and Bryan Perry; Rep. Louie Gohmert selected Longview residents Kara and Locke Curfman; and Rep. Mike Conaway selected Midland resident Robert Ewing for the award.

Each family was nominated by Buckner Children and Family Services and was honored alongside 150 Angels at the national event. The Angels in Adoption program is CCAI’s signature public awareness campaign and provides an opportunity for all members of the U.S. Congress to honor the good work of their constituents who have enriched the lives of foster children and orphans in the United States and abroad. 

For the past two years, Tim and December Barcroft of Amarillo, Texas, have selflessly fostered three sisters and will soon adopt the girls as part of their forever family.

“Tim and December have so much patience with these children and take such good care of them,” said Brittany Porter, Buckner foster care case manager. “They have not once, despite all of the obstacles they have faced, faltered in their love. They put the children first always.” 

Karen and Bryan Perry of Dallas were nominated because of their devotion to the orphans of Guatemala. In the past seven years, Karen has made more than 30 trips to visit the children who call her ‘Mamita Karen,’ and the Perrys support has fueled Buckner’s growth to serve almost 14,000 children each year in that country.

“Orphans and vulnerable children have no greater advocate than the Perry family,” said Albert Reyes, president of Buckner International. “The number of children Karen and Bryan have served cannot be counted. They not only impacted the lives of the many children they have served through their time and resources, but they have also uplifted countless families through their support of the adoption process.”

Kara and Locke Curfman of Longview, Texas, have selflessly fostered children of all ages for more than two years, many with significant special needs, and they have even adopted two children.

“The Curfmans are a strong voice and dedicated advocates for children who have been victimized by abuse and neglect,” said Debbie Sceroler, foster care director for Buckner Children and Family Services in Longview. “They take every opportunity to encourage and educate the community about the critical need for children to have safe, nurturing foster families and forever families through adoption.”

Midland resident Robert Ewing, a single father to six adopted children and foster parent to one, has not allowed any obstacles to come between him and his love for his children.

“Robert is an advocate by example,” said De’An Davis, foster care supervisor for Buckner Children and Family Services in Midland. “His love of children and desire to provide this ministry for children is evident every day. We were honored to nominate Robert for his humility, sacrifice and unconditional love.”

In addition to the more than 150 local Angels from around the country, several “National Angels” also will be recognized at the ceremony and gala for their dedication and commitment nationally and internationally to child welfare on a grand scale.  This year’s National Angels are Academy Award nominated actor and screenwriter Nia Vardalos, NFL Linebacker Scott Fujita, and the Emmy-nominated television program Freddie Mac’s Wednesday’s Child. Former National Angels include First Lady Laura Bush, Patti LaBelle, Jane Seymour, Muhammad Ali, the late Dave Thomas, Steven Curtis Chapman, Bruce Willis, Alonzo Mourning, Rhea Perlman and Kristin Chenoweth.

The Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI) is a 501(c)3 nonpartisan organization dedicated to raising awareness about the tens of thousands of orphans and foster children in the United States and the millions of orphans around the world in need of permanent, safe and loving homes through adoption.  CCAI’s goal is the elimination of the barriers that hinder these children from realizing their basic right of a family. 

The Angels in Adoption™ program was established in 1999 as a Congressional press conference to honor outstanding individuals. Since then, the program has developed into a yearlong public awareness campaign culminating in an extraordinary awards Gala and celebration in Washington, D.C. For more information visit www.angelsinadoption.org.

“Because we haven’t been blessed with our own kids yet, we see it as God’s way of asking us to do this now,” December said.

The couple is fostering a pair of brothers ages 5 and7 who were physically abused before coming into their home, they said. But only two or three weeks into their stay with the Barcofts, they asked, ‘Is it OK if we call you Mom and Dad?’

“The most touching thing is the looks on their faces,” Tim said. “Knowing they are happy and don’t have any worries. When they first got here, the oldest one acted very grown up and now he can just play.

Last year in Potter County, there were 2,892 reported cases of child abuse or neglect. Seventy-seven of the children in those cases were removed from their homes.
About 276 children live in foster homes in Potter County. (TDFPS 2008 Databook)
Tim and December are part of the solution in these children’s lives because they choose to open their home and hearts to help, said foster care supervisor Sean Burrell.

“We are all responsible for our children,” Burrell said. “But families like Tim and December are going above and beyond to make a difference in this community. They are offering a family, a place to belong, to these children.”
December said that one of the boys recently thanked them for letting them be part of their family.

“It is a change for us because you learn to put their needs in front of your own,” she said. “Putting them first and just seeing them running up to you and giving them a home. But I love it. It is wonderful.

“We went through training in December where they taught us to deal with discipline, learning CPR and learning to get down to the child’s level and be open to learning from them and so it helped prepare us for the change.”

One of the top priorities for the Barcrofts is offering the boys a Christian home where they can learn about God and take some early steps in their relationship with Jesus, they said.

The couple makes it a point to pray together and attend church as a family. They play Christian music at home and display crosses and other reminders of their faith.

“One time, we were worshiping at church and I looked over to see one of our foster children raising his hands to God worshiping,” he said. “At night we see them say their prayers and the older one will go for 15 minutes if we let him… that’s how I knew we are doing something right.”

Be a Family

Information Meeting and PRIDE training

Call Sean Burrell at 806-559-2223 or email sburrell@buckner.org for more information.

BEAUMONT, Texas – Monica Garrett always dreamed of being a foster group home parent.

“When I accepted this job, I accepted a calling. I know this is what I was called to do. I know this is what I was supposed to do,” she said.

“It is amazing to be able to give a child a home and make them feel loved and secure. I want the kids to feel that they are a part of me.”

Monica and her husband Avery have been foster parents for the past 10 years. But in July, they left their home in Browndell, Texas to be foster group parents for a group of up to 12 children ages 11-15 at Buckner Children’s Village in Beaumont, Texas.

“The hardest thing about doing this was leaving my home, but I love the opportunity to instill some basics of life,” Avery said. “Before getting involved in fostering, I didn’t really know there were so many kids who need a helping hand. If you aren’t involved you just don’t know. And now I’m glad to be a part of the solution.”

Buckner Children’s Village recently shifted its model of care from a residential group care setting to a foster home setting, which helps provide more stability in a child’s life. Instead of rotating shift workers in by the hour, a foster group home is like a family home – two parents and lots of siblings.

Monica said that one of the most rewarding things she experienced as a foster parent was watching a child with special needs learn to clean after himself and wash his own clothes.

“I had a foster child who came by my house once to see me and she said ‘I want you to know that I will always love you and that I will never forget what you’ve done,’” she said.

“That’s what it’s all about. If I can touch only one child and make a difference with him, I know I’ve done my job.”

Sometimes making a difference can be a simple thing, too, she added.

“We try to take the kids out sometimes and give them good memories to keep. There was one kid who had never been to the movies. Another one had never been skating,” she said.

Avery said that there are a few moments he will never forget.

“One time we were at Burger King and I heard someone say, ‘Dad, Dad.’ I thought it was some kid calling his father,” he remembered. “And then I realized it was one of my foster kids talking to me. It was a moment that made it all worth it.”

Before becoming group home parents, Ruby and John Perrault raised two daughters, some grand children, a niece and a nephew. They’d also been foster parents for a while; so living with a crowd of kids was nothing unusual.

“Right now we have eight girls and it can grow up to 12,” said Ruby Perrault, who became a foster group mom after a conversation with Buckner foster home development supervisor Samela Macon.

“I told Samela that I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, so she asked if I wanted to be a house parent,” Ruby recalled.

For Ruby, the only hard thing about being a group home parent at Children’s Village was leaving her house. Other than that, she said they love it. Their 16-year-old daughter loves it, to.

“She has taken up leadership with the other girls and sets the example,” Ruby said.

And John, whom the children call Mr. Lee, said he spends a lot of time working. But when he’s home, he makes it a point to spend some time with the teens.

“I am the only father figure a lot of them have,” he said, adding that they try to do activities with them when they can. For example, they try to take them out individually on their birthdays.

Ruby said that one girl told them that she’d never had a father and mother before.

“So having us take her out somewhere on her birthday meant a lot to her,” she said. “We are like family to them. I tell my girls, ‘When you grow up and leave, I want you to know that you can come back and see us. We want you to be a part of our family forever.’

“After these kids move on, I want them to remember that we loved God, that we encouraged them to get an education and I want them to take away what they learned about being clean and organized. All of those things that will help them build better lives.”

When Ellinor Nixon sees a clean room, she sees more than dust-free floors and neatly made beds. She sees inside a child’s mind.

“If a child’s bedroom is all jumbled up and messy, it looks like their mind,” she said. “But when I see a child cleaning, organizing their rooms, they’re being healed. They’re going through the healing process.”

And Nixon would know. After serving as a foster parent for children with special needs and mental handicaps for more than 17 years in Beaumont, Nixon has developed a certain knack for understanding children without ever saying a word.

“I observe them and take my time to get to know each child,” she said. “It’s my God-given talent – it’s my ministry. I can sense things. And I’ve learned a lot over the years. It’s not an easy job to change a whole person.”

But Ellinor is the best person to try, said Mary Budke. She and her husband Henry placed their son Mason, now 16, in the state’s hands when they had reached their limit in caring for his severe autism.

At 12 years old, Mason was unable to care for himself at all. He wasn’t potty trained and he couldn’t speak. But after being placed with Nixon, Mason’s “other mom,” he was toilet trained and communicating better than ever before.

“We are so happy that he is here with Ellinor,” Mary said. “We couldn’t be more blessed. She has a strong spirit and special skills. She was able to do what we couldn’t do in 12 years in just two weeks.”

Though Mason still lacks verbal communication skills, often communicating with signs and “looks,” Nixon can understand every word he says. And he always obeys her requests.

“For years people had been forcing him to do things without asking his opinion, without talking to him like a normal person. So one day, I just told him, ‘Mason, take your medicine.’ And he took it. He understood. Nobody had ever talked to him like that before.”

The Budkes, who live in Silbee, Texas, frequently visit their son and relish in his changes and growth under Ellinor’s roof.

“We had a really rough time with Mason,” his father Henry said. “There’s some guilt involved anytime you can’t care for your child. But when I go to sleep at night, I know that he’s safe. And more than that, I know that he’s loved.”

Nixon treats the Budkes as part of her family, she said. “Any decision I make working with him, they support it. It’s so cool that we can interact the way we do. We have a spiritual connection.”

Nixon works part time as a specialist with the Mental Health Mental Retardation (MHMR) community, training members for job readiness. Her experience working with the mentally handicapped catapulted her into fostering 17 years ago when a certain child needed a home.

Since then Nixon has cared for “40-50 children,” she said, with as many as 10-12 living with her at one time. “All special needs – most with mental health issues. I usually take the ones nobody else wants.”

Today Nixon cares for Mason and two others – Ruby, 16, and Natasha, 22 – in her two-story bayou home.

“Ruby came to me with some serious mental health issues,” Nixon said. “She was shy and withdrawn – she even had a hard time answering the telephone. It seemed like everyone else had given up on her.”

Now, as Ruby sorts through her CD albums and finishes folding her laundry, she seems like any typical teenage girl. She’s an honor student at Central High School and sings solos in the church choir.

“She’s very competitive and works hard at school. She doesn’t want to be left behind,” Nixon said.

Ruby takes some regular classes, along with special education classes. And Nixon has high hopes for her future.

“Ruby’s gonna go to college,” she said.

Twenty-two-year-old Natasha has Down ’s syndrome. Nixon has been caring for her for the last four years. This year, Natasha will graduate high school and attend the senior prom. She attends a high level life skills program and receives two hours of special training each day with Gayle Phillips, Nixon’s daughter.

Phillips also works full-time with MHMR community and helps Natasha learn necessary life skills, such as calling 911 in emergencies, identifying her name on medications and knowing how to react in case of a fire.

“I admire my mom,” Phillips said. “She’s taught me to be consistent and to never give up on a child. I admire that she’s so strong and the way she loves children. She just likes helping people, trying to turn them around. It’s her gift. It’s just her.”

Nixon is currently working towards an appeal to the state to keep Natasha in her home, even though she has passed the legal age limit for foster care at 22. When the law passes, it will set a precedent for future foster families to keep special needs children under their roof as long as necessary for a child to function in the world.

This means Natasha, the girl who loves to hug, can remain safe and loved in Nixon’s family for as long as she needs.

“I’m committed to help her,” Nixon said.

Nixon has received several awards for her work with children, including the Outreach Foster Parent of the Year award from Buckner Children and Family Services in Southeast Texas and the Person of the Week award from ABC-affiliate KBMT Channel 12 in Beaumont.

“Sometimes it feels like I’m not that person,” she said about receiving so many awards. “I don’t take it lightly, but it doesn’t change my spirit. I’m still the same person. The awards are just another one of God’s blessings.”

People might confuse a woman as giving, as hopeful, as Nixon with someone they could never be – someone they could never understand. But really, she’s quite simple. She just follows God’s lead.

“God is in the midst of this,” she continued. “In all these years, I’ve never had to take a nerve pill. I don’t drink and I don’t smoke. If that’s not enough proof, I don’t know what is!” she laughed.

“This is my gift and I enjoy it. It’s not a job. If it gets to be a job, I won’t do it anymore. But it keeps me going, keeps me motivated. I couldn’t do any of it without God.”

Mona Harvey opens a Bible and reads to her two foster children from the first story she finds.

“Hannah had no children and that made her very sad.” Mona pauses to laugh. “How ironic,” she says, and goes back to reading. “But in time, God gave her Samuel.”

Harvey, age 54, is a single career woman. She has a law degree and two-story suburban home. But before Brian, 8, and Avery, 6, it was empty. And quiet.

Today, the sibling pair wrestles on the living room floor and performs Jesus Loves the Little Children with singing and sign language. Every couple of minutes, Avery bursts out with her latest vocabulary word: “Hideous!”

Harvey listens patiently. Her voice wouldn’t put out a candle if she held it to her lips when she spoke.

Harvey’s life was once a mixture of social gatherings, church meetings and work. Now it consists of Boy and Girl Scout meetings, homework assignments, play therapy sessions and doctor’s appointments, not to mention the extra loads of laundry. Oh, and she still works, too.

“It’s fun but there are sacrifices,” Harvey said. “Sometimes I’m so exhausted. I’m sleepy in staff meetings. … Their schedule has consumed my schedule. I had thought when I was working full time and going to graduate school part time that I was busy. But this is much more demanding. ”

Harvey first considered fostering after meeting a lady who was selling pins of children’s faces to raise funds for an adoptions agency. Harvey said the woman clarified some of her questions on foster care and adoption.

“I had thought fostering wasn’t an option after age 40 and I didn’t know singles could do it,” Harvey said. “So I kept it in the back of my mind because at the time I was traveling and wouldn’t have been able to care properly for the kids.”

A few years later, she got connected to Buckner and decided that she wanted to be a foster parent. It turned out to be different from what she had anticipated, she said.

“I went into foster parenting thinking that it was all about me,” Harvey said. “This is what I want. I have this void at this time and this how I can fill it. But after I went through the six-week orientation course, I realized that none of it is about me. You are doing it for the children and it’s all about what’s best for them. In fact, a huge goal in fostering is to support reunification, if possible, with the children’s family.

“When they first arrived, people referred to them as ‘Mona’s kids.’ And I would think, ‘Yes, they are my kids. I don’t want to let go of them.’ But I need to be careful to not put myself between them and their mom. I can’t see myself as their mom’s rival.”

Harvey recently ordered the children’s school pictures and framed them for their mother. “Because I can’t imagine how hard that must be, not being able to live with your kids,” she said.

Avery will draw pictures of her family: her father, who is in prison, her mother, whom she can’t live with, her older brother, living with her in Harvey’s home and her little sister, in another foster home. But she draws them all together. And sometimes, when she’s in school or daycare, she’ll cry because she misses her mom, Harvey said.

“No matter how happy they are here, there will always be that void. When Avery makes something, it’s for her mom. But I understand that and I accept that.”

Yet, she still finds herself planning for their future.

“We don’t know what’s going to happen. They may go back to their mom or they may go home to another relative. I’ve gotten really attached. I realize that they might go and that I’ll never see them again. But I don’t know how I’ll feel if they go. And they probably will.

As Harvey finishes the bedtime story, with one little head on each of her shoulders, it’s hard to miss the irony.

“This is the son God gave me,” she says, quoting Hannah. “Now I am giving him back to God.”